Then I can hang this on my door:
(Tip o’ the shot glass to Chris Rowan)
How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is now available (h/t). Arm yourselves with the definitive guide to defeating the little buggers. Get them before they get you!
Do not wait for the paperback. By then, it may be too late!
Brian Switek pointed us at a site today that actually managed to make me laugh despite a certain monthly recurrent condition that makes me hate life, my uterus and everything. That’s no small feat. Anyone who reads or writes will appreciate How to Write Badly Well. Only a great writer can write so badly so perfectly.
It was four o’clock in the afternoon and Derek was facilitating his process environment. He validated his competency, taking care not to leverage his parameters to an un-optimal degree, then took ownership of the resultant paradigm.
Dr Henry Billingsworth was a Nobel Prize-winning theoretical physicist and all-round renaissance man. In the course of his long career, he had held sub-atomic particles in the palm of his hand, excavated lava from the centre of the Earth and invented a whole new mathematical function which supplemented the old-fashioned plus, minus, multiply and divide to create a unheard-of fifth way of doing sums. At present, he was absorbed in his new experiment – observing evolution in fruit flies.
Penny stared down at the police interview table.‘I’m embarrassed and quite scared,’ she said. The policeman nodded.‘I’m aware of that,’ he said. ‘However, I’m not above using your fragile emotional state to get the information I need. You see, despite sympathising with you and, to be entirely honest, being quite attracted to you, I am very good at my job.’
In the meantime, go enjoy some of the best bad writing on offer.
In light of Arizona’s noxious new immigration law, folks may be confused as to whether or not they should have papers on them at all times in the Grand Canyon State. This helpful illustration should clear things up:
(Tip o’ the shot glass to Jerry Coyne)
All right. The Kanye West jokes are officially out of hand now:
There’s some stuff on Pundit Kitchen that’s just too good not to share.
Here’s an excellent definition of lazy:
Here’s today’s history lesson:
And, finally, a service every cat owner could use:
Sometimes, the essential truth of a situation can be succinctly summed up using satire, parody, and other forms of humor easily comprehended by the left and completely lost on the right:
Late Night: Baked Potato Frontrunner for 2012 GOP Nomination; Liberals Vow to Destroy Potato, MSM Reaches for Sour Cream, Chives
It’s so accurate it’s depressing. But it’s still hilarious.