Today’s smiting of intolerant bastards.
I never cease to be astonished at the fuckwittery extremely religious folks display, but there are times when it’s so overwhelming that it literally takes my breath away. This was one of those times:
Land ‘O Lakes, Florida — The stories in the news about inappropriate relationships between teachers and students have been overwhelming. There was even a substitute teacher in New Port Richey who got in trouble after investigators say she had a relationship with an underage
Well, another Pasco County substitute teacher’s job is on the line, but this time it’s because of a magic trick.
The charge from the school district — Wizardry!
My darlings, I doubled over. I could not have lost my breath faster if Mohammed Ali had planted a firm one right in my diaphram. What the fuck is wrong with these people?
Did the substitute try to steal penises? No. Was he chanting rituals? No. Was he wearing a pointy hat and a robe with stars on it? No.
He did a fucking magic trick.
Substitute teacher Jim Piculas does a 30-second magic trick where a toothpick disappears then reappears.
But after performing it in front of a classroom at Rushe Middle School in Land ‘O Lakes, Piculas said his job did a disappearing act of its own.
“I get a call the middle of the day from head of supervisor of substitute teachers. He says, ‘Jim, we have a huge issue, you can’t take any more assignments you need to come in right away,'” he said.
When Piculas went in, he learned his little magic trick cast a spell and went much farther than he’d hoped.
“I said, ‘Well Pat, can you explain this to me?’ ‘You’ve been accused of wizardry,’ [he said]. Wizardry?” he asked.
WikiHow says that trick will fool just about anybody. Well, it sure doesn’t take much to fool the godfearing adults of Florida. PZ’s probably right – Florida’s a hoax.
And I hadn’t yet recovered from that when I got blindsided by this sledgehammer of stupid:
This bit of wackiness which comes from a site called California Catholic Daily (which is odd since most Catholics don’t have a problem with evolution):
Now that Darwinists rule academia, they will brook no contradiction, and they will happily commit employment
assassination even against tenured professors who dare even
to mention intelligent design. The Darwinists even have their own Gestapo in the National Center for Science Education led by a modern day Heinrich Himmler named Eugenie Scott.
This evolution = Hitler thing is getting outrageously out of hand. It’s gone from ridiculous to pathological. These people need to be dragged to the Holocaust Memorial, where some folks from the Anti-Defamation League can explain kindly but firmly the differences between Eugenie Scott and Himmler, why IDiots are not suffering the same persecution suffered by the Jewish people under the Third Reich, and why equating evolution to the Holocaust is an indecent, disgusting, and fuckheaded thing to do.
The reason the Anti-Defamation League needs to do this is simple. If the task falls to me, I’m going to be way too fucking tempted to do something as extreme as their hyperbole.
All right, maybe they haven’t pushed me quite that far yet, but I’d definitely give them a right ding ’round the earhole. It’s very, very difficult to hold a civil debate with people this batshit insane. I’m afraid my patience is too frayed to even try.
Let’s just have a bit o’ wizardry instead, eh?